Sientir's Blog

I ride in the boat of belief On the turbulent sea of my heart Sometimes the waves are calm And faith holds strong Sometimes the waves are rough And faith holds strong But the boat rocks In stormy agony As the sea rages Why the wait? Where's the sign of change? Is my hope valid? Is it all in my head? What do I do? I know what I do I trust in God But that knowledge Does little To calm The stormy sea The only balm The way to calm Is prayer Lots And lots Of prayer I must seek the One Who can calm The seas And for a time My heart knows peace But I never know When a tempest will blow And churn up the waves Again. You can support Sientir in his creative endeavors by subscribing to his  Patreon  or sharing his work.

So I'm aromantic, so what? I know what it means To love family and friends And I know the craving For sexual affection But Eros is a stranger That's what! In truth I feel fear and frustration at Eros's ability to color my words and add false meaning to them Why must romance Turn a compliment an expression of gratitude or seemingly any phrase into flirtation? Why must Eros add A hidden meaning? I long to say, "Your beauty  has made me happy." A simple expression  of gratitude Why must romance Add to my words a meaning I did not Intend? So I'm aromantic, so what? I know what it means To love family and friends And I know the craving For sexual affection But Eros is a stranger That's what! What makes a date More than hanging with a friend? What makes a romance Different from a friendship? What makes a marriage More than best friends for life? What I want is Best friends with benefits Best friends forever Friends who will not Neglect me Who will be My family S...

Sin is like strangling thorns Growing in the garden of our hearts We fertilize it when we treat others As less than human It produces a harvest of death Its tempting fruit Filling our world with suffering and sorrow We long for a world untainted by sin But we cannot make it ourselves It is beyond us No matter how hard we try No matter what laws we make We cannot cleanse ourselves from sin We cannot fully weed it out Of the gardens of our hearts Yet despite our sin God wants us Our Creator loves us And so Jesus came down And bore our death But He didn't stay dead Love rose again And He will return To make all things New To live with us In a world Untainted by sin With Communion we declare The bitter weight of sin And the death it brings Which Christ suffered A declaration we make Until the day That glorious day The day of His return You can support Sientir in his creative endeavors by subscribing to his  Patreon  or sharing his work.

It was on a Sunday morning—that of August 25, 2024 to be exact, when church was starting—that God gave me a revelation, not unlike others He has given me in the past. It's the kind of revelation that gave me understanding of something about myself that had been eluding me. In this case, it was the way church and church culture, at least in the ways I've experienced them, have been a stumbling block in my ability to know God, desire Him, and feel desired and loved by Him. We Christians represent God to the people. I think He's chosen to make us His ambassadors because He's a big fan of free will—it's kind of necessary for love, after all (you can't force genuine love). So in a very real sense, Christian culture, and more directly church culture, paints a picture of God. Unfortunately, this picture is often inaccurate in many ways, as it's affected by the world; for me, the most warped part has been the way the church has so often adopted the world's conce...

  "Where are you? Where are you?" my heart cries out, seeking after the woman who'll be my wife. "Where is she? Where is she?" I cry to God, both my Father and hers. "What do I do? What do I do?" I long to know, that my desire may be fulfilled. "Wait on Me. Wait on Me." comes the reply, sure and familiar from my God. "Waiting sucks! Waiting sucks!" I cry out in longsuffering grief. "Waiting does suck, but sometimes it's necessary." Loving empathy from the Ancient of Days. For now, my heart's pain has been soothed. But waiting does suck. And until its end comes, The pain it causes Will flare Once again.

You founded the world on love We remade it with greed. How long will we deny That it's You we need? You passed through death to save me You shed Your blood to wash me clean. You rose from death to lead me To Your deathless land serene. This world is dying, Choking on entropy As the poison of sin Courses through its psyche. You passed through death to save me You shed Your blood to wash me clean. You rose from death to lead me To Your deathless land serene. We chase after our idols With hearts badly deceived. We follow foolish ways, But it's You we need receive. You passed through death to save me You shed Your blood to wash me clean. You rose from death to lead me To Your deathless land serene. We make You in our image And lead ourselves astray. And yet You seek us out To show us Your true way. You passed through death to save me You shed Your blood to wash me clean. You rose from death to lead me To Your deathless land serene. We make ourselves a judge The other to condemn, Bu...

Capitalism Brain says Workaholism Is the highest virtue And being a hard worker Is the second. Capitalism Brain says Laziness Is the greatest sin. Capitalism Brain says Enjoying life Is a waste of time That could be better spent Working. Capitalism Brain says No matter how much you got done today It was not Enough. Capitalism Brain says The only productivity Is effort Put towards Earning a paycheck Capitalism Brain says The appearance of productivity Is more important Than actual Productivity. Capitalism Brain says That your contribution To society Is your income And anyone Who isn't financially independent Is worse Than worthless. Capitalism Brain says You're leeching from society If you gain from others' work Through taxes But it's just smart If you gain from others' work Through dividends. Capitalism Brain says The cure for loneliness Is spending money. Capitalism Brain says You have to buy your way into community That the only activities to do together Are the o...

My heart cries out, "I hate my life!" My mind's reply Is "Why?" I am lonely Where are my peers? Thanks be to God for my sister. Working alone Working from home Leaves me feeling isolated. So here I sit, Trapped in my room Surrounded by stuff I've not got space to use My own little prison. The Internet offers me Parasocial relationships. But I want something genuine. My heart cries out, I feel constrained Cut off Isolated Alone. Where are you God? How do I escape this prison? Where are the people I long to befriend? How do I find them? How do we connect? What do I do? I'm quartered By loneliness A pressing urge to do something Anything And a faith that says, "Wait on Jesus." "It'll be worth it." All the while My heart screams In tensile agony. Please, God, Save me!

The Demon of Money Is the belief That money Is the most valuable thing in the world That by having it You have value That you must seek it as a source of power And security As a fortress against the woes of the world And ultimately Not caring How you get it You just need it More and more of it To feel loved To feel safe To feel important To feel like your life matters After all... Money is a useful tool Especially for Satan It's his favorite way of baitin' Humans to be cruel. The Demon of Money Says that everything has a price: Food & Fun Sex & Security Loyalty & Love Health & Home Grief & Gladness Care & Consolation Justice & Joy Friendship & Family The Demon of Money says You can only have these For a price. After all... Money is a useful tool Especially for Satan It's his favorite way of baitin' Humans to be cruel. The Demon of Money Says that money is the only path to expression And the amount you spend is the amount you care That com...

They say that life is short But it never seemed quite true Until the weeping maws of death Closed down upon vibrant you What is this horror? What is this pain? To learn of a death That leaves us bereft Of one untimely slain? The days that would've been The conversations The laughter The hugs The love The joy The future That's now simply... Gone An unexpected absence Leaving naught but sorrow In its painful wake. Could this be a mistake? Some cosmic error? How can you be gone? How do I soothe this terror? My heart rent open As I realize The painful truth Before my eyes A human life So like my own Full of dreams, and hopes, and wonder Craving love and pouring it yonder A well of life gone dry. A well of sorrow overflows And rolls down my cheeks As I'm wrung out by the agony Of cruel reality Oh, that I could have said goodbye To one longing for home Who was ready to die Whose time had come. Alas! It was not so. If only we could have said One final time "I love you." ...

At first came the machines They promised leisure and ease But who could take time To rest and recline Where there's money for greed to seize? So people worked And community died Birthing loneliness That heartwrenching hole But never to fear For profits live here In the land That sold its soul. For when community dies The need does arise To soothe tired eyes Hark! They doth advertise The balm for the heart Of folks torn apart Can be found at the mart So go fill your cart. Each new ailment And hole in the heart Was an opportunity For the cunning and smart. After all Despair Hopelessness and loneliness Are all exploitable By business. And so a nation Sells its soul A piece at a time Bit by bit Forcefed misery And promised a cure If only you'll pay Your tormenter. Monetize everything: Childrearing. Love. Friendship. Passion. Service. Care. If it isn't traded for money Is its worth even there? In the nation That has sold Its soul. You can support Sientir in his creative endeavor...

I am adrift on the sea named Desire Longing for an island all my own A place to rest and retire To be free of this turbulent foam Whenever I see an island And the waves, they begin to churn "Could this be the isle for me? The home for which I yearn?" The hope always sparks, A longing of heart Grown deep with weariness Born of the years on the sea The sea named Desire. This sea, it is littered with islands Some have been well loved Made into a rich haven For someone, but not for me Some are pleasant to drift by But though I may circle time and again And delight in their presence They are not the home for me Some are still bubbling With volcanic activity Perhaps they will make a good home For someone else on the sea Most I pass by but once And then I drift on my way Perhaps they'll be a good home But if so, I'll never see I am adrift on the sea named Desire Longing for an island all my own A place to rest and retire For long have I drifted alone Often do I think of my i...