Sientir's Blog

I once had a dream, and in this dream I was walking around a city. The initial details are vague, of course; remembering dreams is a tricky business. But there was an element of video-gameness to this situation, as I, like a game creator, was some sort of godlike being. Now, I don’t mean the pathetic gods we see in movies. No, I mean like the powerful gods the player inhabits in games like The Sims or the even more powerful godlike position of creating a video game, where you’re responsible for designing the rules of the universe. In this case, I was positioning NPCs—that’s “non-player characters,” an entity that the player doesn’t directly control. I was figuring out how the game engine worked: specifically, what would happen to NPCs on the street if I went into a building? Would their position reset (that is, was the outside reloaded into its default state when entering and then exiting a building?), or would they continue doing what they’d been doing? After all, computers (including

  "Where are you? Where are you?" my heart cries out, seeking after the woman who'll be my wife. "Where is she? Where is she?" I cry to God, both my Father and hers. "What do I do? What do I do?" I long to know, that my desire may be fulfilled. "Wait on Me. Wait on Me." comes the reply, sure and familiar from my God. "Waiting sucks! Waiting sucks!" I cry out in longsuffering grief. "Waiting does suck, but sometimes it's necessary." Loving empathy from the Ancient of Days. For now, my heart's pain has been soothed. But waiting does suck. And until its end comes, The pain it causes Will flare Once again.