Sientir's Blog

I ride in the boat of belief On the turbulent sea of my heart Sometimes the waves are calm And faith holds strong Sometimes the waves are rough And faith holds strong But the boat rocks In stormy agony As the sea rages Why the wait? Where's the sign of change? Is my hope valid? Is it all in my head? What do I do? I know what I do I trust in God But that knowledge Does little To calm The stormy sea The only balm The way to calm Is prayer Lots And lots Of prayer I must seek the One Who can calm The seas And for a time My heart knows peace But I never know When a tempest will blow And churn up the waves Again. You can support Sientir in his creative endeavors by subscribing to his  Patreon  or sharing his work.

So I'm aromantic, so what? I know what it means To love family and friends And I know the craving For sexual affection But Eros is a stranger That's what! In truth I feel fear and frustration at Eros's ability to color my words and add false meaning to them Why must romance Turn a compliment an expression of gratitude or seemingly any phrase into flirtation? Why must Eros add A hidden meaning? I long to say, "Your beauty  has made me happy." A simple expression  of gratitude Why must romance Add to my words a meaning I did not Intend? So I'm aromantic, so what? I know what it means To love family and friends And I know the craving For sexual affection But Eros is a stranger That's what! What makes a date More than hanging with a friend? What makes a romance Different from a friendship? What makes a marriage More than best friends for life? What I want is Best friends with benefits Best friends forever Friends who will not Neglect me Who will be My family S...

Sin is like strangling thorns Growing in the garden of our hearts We fertilize it when we treat others As less than human It produces a harvest of death Its tempting fruit Filling our world with suffering and sorrow We long for a world untainted by sin But we cannot make it ourselves It is beyond us No matter how hard we try No matter what laws we make We cannot cleanse ourselves from sin We cannot fully weed it out Of the gardens of our hearts Yet despite our sin God wants us Our Creator loves us And so Jesus came down And bore our death But He didn't stay dead Love rose again And He will return To make all things New To live with us In a world Untainted by sin With Communion we declare The bitter weight of sin And the death it brings Which Christ suffered A declaration we make Until the day That glorious day The day of His return You can support Sientir in his creative endeavors by subscribing to his  Patreon  or sharing his work.

I've been watching a lot of anime lately, and there's a common paradox (or hypocrisy, if you prefer, though I think that's a bit harsh; my point here is to do a fun bit of analysis, not criticize the way media works) that I've observed that I want to talk about, but before I can, I need to make sure everyone reading this is familiar with the concept of Doylist and Watsonian lenses for analysis. The terms "Doylist" and "Watsonian" were inspired by the Sherlock Holmes novels, and they're used as shorthand for different perspectives on stories. You see, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote the Sherlock Holmes stories, but in the universe of Sherlock Holmes, John Watson wrote them. Thus, "Doylist" is used to refer to the perspective from reality; that is, taking a work in relation to our world and what is really happening before the audience. On the other hand, "Watsonian" is used to refer to an in-universe perspective, much like the pers...

Last year I decided to start a new annual tradition : reviewing the previous year and setting objectives for the coming year. A new year has begun, which means that it's time to continue this tradition by looking back on 2024 and looking ahead to 2025! Note that this year will be a bit different from last year. You see, this year I have last year's goals to review, whereas last year, I didn't, as I'd just started the tradition. That means things will be structured a little bit differently this year. Looking Back on 2024 I had a number of goals for 2024 of things I wanted to work on. They were: better sleep discipline, watch less YouTube (and game more), better portion control, make substantial progress on my game, stream a few times per month, knowing God's love for me more deeply, and developing community and relationships. Let's review these! Better Sleep Discipline Last year I said I wanted to be better about getting to bed, but the focus was actually on gett...

When I think about things I'd like to be different in my life, the most significant changes are relational. I want to get to know a few more people, but to also have deeper relationships with the people I do know. However, I've identified something that gets in the way of both of those things, which is an assumption that others are judgmental. This assumption leads me to try and present myself to others in ways that I think will get their approval; often, this is through censoring my actual thoughts and likes. In other words, I find myself hiding parts of who I am from others to try and manipulate them into not socially rejecting me or otherwise enacting socially-devastating (albeit nebulous in specifics) consequences on me. Needless to say, this underlying, emotionally-driven perspective impedes my ability to develop relationships with others. If I want to find those with whom I can connect, I have to reveal myself. This revealing of my personality feels scary, sure, but what ...