Posts

Wrestling With Manhood

Image
  In the classic video game The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time , the hero Link starts his adventure as a boy, but partway through his journey, he finds the legendary Master Sword. When he goes to draw the blade from its pedestal, he finds himself transported forward in time by seven years, when he’s the man worthy of wielding such a weapon. I’d played this game as a child, and I think I always sort of assumed that’s how becoming an adult worked, that a day would come when I’d go to sleep a boy and wake up a man. But that never happened, and thus for all of my adult life, I’ve struggled to understand what it means for me to be a man. Growing up, there were a few key things I learned about manhood, things I was taught directly or indirectly—much of it through cultural osmosis. I was taught that men are competent, providers and protectors, and that they’re big and strong. (Of course, there are also adult males who used their competence and strength for selfish ends that harm others in
Post a Comment
Read more

The Tragedy of Virtue

Image
  If virtue is a good thing, how is it that the pursuit of it causes so much pain and suffering? “Virtues” are the things—qualities and behaviors—that a society or culture deem to be Good. Virtue is how we earn a good reputation, social acceptance, and the praise and accolades of others, but perhaps more significantly, it’s how we protect ourselves: it wards away the threat of becoming an outcast or pariah. Different cultures do have their own sets of things that are considered virtues, though there are a few commonalities: being beautiful or attractive, having a respected job, going to a prestigious school, coming from a well-regarded family or region, and being wealthy are all examples of common virtues. Of course, what things cause someone to be seen as beautiful or attractive will be culturally dependent, what jobs are highly regraded may vary, as do other reputational markers (e.g. family, prestigious schools, etc.), and many cultures have other things they consider virtues be
Post a Comment
Read more

Sientir's View of the Bible

Image
  I’ve been having a discussion with my pastor, and it’s prompted me to put into words how I view the Bible. So let’s start with an important question: How much authority would I say the Bible has? This is a trick question. The Bible, it turns out, is a book! Inanimate objects, such as books, cannot have authority, and to assign authority to the Bible is to anthropomorphize it: to treat it as a person. There are several serious dangers to this, not the least of which is turning the Bible into an idol. Remember, God is the one who has authority! This issue of authority is important, so I’m going to start with the dangers that can stem from it before delving into my views of the Bible more broadly. The most significant danger is, as already mentioned, turning the Bible into an idol. The Bible does not save us, Jesus does. The Bible does not speak, the Holy Spirit does. The other major danger is using the Bible to steal God’s authority for humans. This will require some explanation,
Post a Comment
Read more

Perfect Love

Image
I once had a dream, and in this dream I was walking around a city. The initial details are vague, of course; remembering dreams is a tricky business. But there was an element of video-gameness to this situation, as I, like a game creator, was some sort of godlike being. Now, I don’t mean the pathetic gods we see in movies. No, I mean like the powerful gods the player inhabits in games like The Sims or the even more powerful godlike position of creating a video game, where you’re responsible for designing the rules of the universe. In this case, I was positioning NPCs—that’s “non-player characters,” an entity that the player doesn’t directly control. I was figuring out how the game engine worked: specifically, what would happen to NPCs on the street if I went into a building? Would their position reset (that is, was the outside reloaded into its default state when entering and then exiting a building?), or would they continue doing what they’d been doing? After all, computers (including
Post a Comment
Read more

Longing's Cry - Poem

Image
  "Where are you? Where are you?" my heart cries out, seeking after the woman who'll be my wife. "Where is she? Where is she?" I cry to God, both my Father and hers. "What do I do? What do I do?" I long to know, that my desire may be fulfilled. "Wait on Me. Wait on Me." comes the reply, sure and familiar from my God. "Waiting sucks! Waiting sucks!" I cry out in longsuffering grief. "Waiting does suck, but sometimes it's necessary." Loving empathy from the Ancient of Days. For now, my heart's pain has been soothed. But waiting does suck. And until its end comes, The pain it causes Will flare Once again.
Post a Comment
Read more

Things I'm Learning About Making RPGs (in RPG Maker MV as Me)

Image
For quite some time now, I've been trying to make an RPG in RPG Maker MV . Each time, I've run into problems, but I've also learned from those problems. They're pretty variable, but they all result in me getting utterly bogged down in particulars that drain me of all interest or motivation in continuing to make my current game. Along the way, I've also learned a few things about RPGs in general, both from my own gaming experience and from watching other's playthroughs. I'd like to share some of these thoughts, because I know doing so will help me better process the lessons I've been learning. Before I really get into it, though, something that's important to know about me as a creative is that I'm a pantser. (A word from the writing world that refers to "flying by the seat of your pants." People like me need to figure things out as they go. It stands in contrast to "plotters," who plan everything out ahead of time, and then ma
Post a Comment
Read more