Sientir's Blog

So I'm aromantic, so what? I know what it means To love family and friends And I know the craving For sexual affection But Eros is a stranger That's what! In truth I feel fear and frustration at Eros's ability to color my words and add false meaning to them Why must romance Turn a compliment an expression of gratitude or seemingly any phrase into flirtation? Why must Eros add A hidden meaning? I long to say, "Your beauty  has made me happy." A simple expression  of gratitude Why must romance Add to my words a meaning I did not Intend? So I'm aromantic, so what? I know what it means To love family and friends And I know the craving For sexual affection But Eros is a stranger That's what! What makes a date More than hanging with a friend? What makes a romance Different from a friendship? What makes a marriage More than best friends for life? What I want is Best friends with benefits Best friends forever Friends who will not Neglect me Who will be My family S...

I've been watching a lot of anime lately, and there's a common paradox (or hypocrisy, if you prefer, though I think that's a bit harsh; my point here is to do a fun bit of analysis, not criticize the way media works) that I've observed that I want to talk about, but before I can, I need to make sure everyone reading this is familiar with the concept of Doylist and Watsonian lenses for analysis. The terms "Doylist" and "Watsonian" were inspired by the Sherlock Holmes novels, and they're used as shorthand for different perspectives on stories. You see, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote the Sherlock Holmes stories, but in the universe of Sherlock Holmes, John Watson wrote them. Thus, "Doylist" is used to refer to the perspective from reality; that is, taking a work in relation to our world and what is really happening before the audience. On the other hand, "Watsonian" is used to refer to an in-universe perspective, much like the pers...

When I think about things I'd like to be different in my life, the most significant changes are relational. I want to get to know a few more people, but to also have deeper relationships with the people I do know. However, I've identified something that gets in the way of both of those things, which is an assumption that others are judgmental. This assumption leads me to try and present myself to others in ways that I think will get their approval; often, this is through censoring my actual thoughts and likes. In other words, I find myself hiding parts of who I am from others to try and manipulate them into not socially rejecting me or otherwise enacting socially-devastating (albeit nebulous in specifics) consequences on me. Needless to say, this underlying, emotionally-driven perspective impedes my ability to develop relationships with others. If I want to find those with whom I can connect, I have to reveal myself. This revealing of my personality feels scary, sure, but what ...

I've been finding myself thinking about marriage a lot lately. I've had a lot of questions. What is marriage, really, if you boil it down? Why does marriage exist? I write here today to ponder these questions (and more), and I really mean ponder . I'm typing this up as a way to force myself to think through these ideas and get them out of my head. I don't know that I'll find any answers in so doing, but hopefully it'll leave me with something to share with others to get their input. These thoughts have been prompted by a number of things. One of those things has been reading about the history of misogyny as recorded in Naked Feminism: Breaking the Cult of Female Modesty  by Victoria Bateman . Another has been people I follow online, primarily on Twitter, who have presented ideas and concepts about sex and sexuality that were foreign to me, ideas that raise questions in my mind. One of those big questions is: what is  sexual immorality? As I've pondered the S...

It was on a Sunday morning—that of August 25, 2024 to be exact, when church was starting—that God gave me a revelation, not unlike others He has given me in the past. It's the kind of revelation that gave me understanding of something about myself that had been eluding me. In this case, it was the way church and church culture, at least in the ways I've experienced them, have been a stumbling block in my ability to know God, desire Him, and feel desired and loved by Him. We Christians represent God to the people. I think He's chosen to make us His ambassadors because He's a big fan of free will—it's kind of necessary for love, after all (you can't force genuine love). So in a very real sense, Christian culture, and more directly church culture, paints a picture of God. Unfortunately, this picture is often inaccurate in many ways, as it's affected by the world; for me, the most warped part has been the way the church has so often adopted the world's conce...

I've been finding myself particularly drawn to stories of adventure, where a group of 3-5 people come together in common cause, and through their journey, form unbreakable bonds of friendship. It's a common occurrence in a lot of media and is part of the broader concept of "found family"—that is, the family you find journeying through life, rather than the family you were born into. As the old (oft-misunderstood due to being abridged) saying goes, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." The reason I've been drawn to such stories is because I have a common human desire for comradery: I want companions, a group that lives life together. My problem is that I'm a somewhat introverted homebody who also works from home. While I do thankfully live with my biological family (which spares me some amount of loneliness, especially as I get along well with my sister), and I have a number of social activities that help, none of these th...